Decibel Levels

Scene: Pushing Lila’s stroller one cold autumn day, on the way to see the pediatrician
Translation: Dammit! I was sleeping! And now I’m cold! I hate my stupid stroller! What’s with all the cobblestones? Ouch! I said, careful!
Decibel level: 85dB (comparable to noise of city traffic from inside a car)

Scene: Lying on the doctor’s table while doctor and mother struggle to keep her from squirming in order to administer her vaccine
Translation: Bloody pirates, the pair of you! Just wait till I’m big enough to stick needles into YOUR goddam arms… let’s see how you’ll like it… I hate you all!
Decibel level: 100dB (comparable to noise of a snowmobile, motorcycle)

Scene: At the pharmacy, mother a ball of taut nerves, standing in line with a million other people who politely try to ignore the sound coming from inside the red stroller
Translation: So after that witch who poked at my arm, you have the nerve to bring me HERE? I don’t LIKE it here! I didn’t ask to BE here! I SAID, let’s go, I’m bored! And cold! I want milk!
Decibel level: 115 dB (comparable to noise of sandblasting, or a loud rock concert)

Scene: On the way back home
Translation: Are we there yet?
Decibel level: 90dB (comparable to train whistle at 500′, or truck traffic)

Scene: Back home, while exhausted mother removes her shoes and tries to nurse her pounding headache
Translation: I’ll never forgive you for waking me up from my nap to get my arm poked. You’ll regret this, Mommy, believe me. I want milk!
Decibel level: 194dB (comparable to Loudest Sound Possible)

Currently listening to:
The Lone Gunman

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *