You have to build this immunity around you, to make you stronger mentally, physically, and emotionally because you have to project strength
And to be seen by the people you love, you have to be strong
Because with the healthy, patience has limits
And with the sick, the idea of being a burden is worse than sickness itself
You pretend because, well, it’s not just for them but for yourself, because you want to be okay too
And this is a good way to pretend
And this is a good way to forget
They don’t understand but they aren’t at fault (It’s not yours either)
You rejoin the living and smile and interact, try your hardest to join parties, pretend to toast glasses of wine because
It’s expected
In a fucked up way, you want them to include you
Though things aren’t right, pretending makes it right.
You hurt, of course you do.
But everything hurts already anyway
so what’s a little more

Currently listening to:
Cameron Winters
Heavy Metal