In France last year, I went to Sephora with Jul’s mom and sister, where I grudgingly bought make-up brushes, eyeshadow, mascara, and a whole bunch of other stuff that came in different colors and bottles.

So I don’t know how to put make-up on. I never had female bonding make-up sessions with my sister Dr. Doom. It wasn’t like I would have joined anyway. You can scratch out events like proms or weddings, because I never attended prom, and my wedding planning was so lousy it was so obvious that putting some make-up on would be the last thing on my mind.

So last year, I figured it was time to learn. How hard could it be? It’s literally painting your face, right? I spent about 30 minutes in front of the mirror, applying waxy and gooey stuff on and erasing and repainting. Then, I went out into the hallway and ran smack into Julien.

“What do you think?” I asked with a wide smile.

“Cool!” he marvelled. “You look like the one in Pirates of the Caribbean! Damn, what’s the name?”

I said “Kiera Knightly” at the same time he said “Captain John Sparrow.”

Currently listening to:
Portishead
Third